Tag Archives: Trust

My Valley Fever and Sweet Syndrome Journey Chapter 3…My Hope

Biblical definitions of Hope in the Hebrew and Greek=To trust in, wait for, look for or desire something or someone; or to expect something beneficial in the future. Anticipation and the absolute certainty of God’s promises, confident expectation.

I was in Arizona, visiting my one and only grandchild and her parents. About a week before I was to come home, I developed a dry cough and thought I was reacting to the dry air and fires. I became very fatigued and attributed it to my Fibromyalgia and overdoing it.

I was wrong.  

Fast forward to October. By October 1st I was very ill and had to go to the ER on October 13, upon the insistence of my husband and neighbor. I ended up being transferred to Barnes Jewish and spent eleven total days there. I was very ill, and they did a lot of testing; I was in isolation and it was a time that the Father showed Himself over and over.

They transferred me by ambulance one evening from my local hospital, arriving at Barnes at 3:30am.  Suffice it to say, I would not recommend a two-hour ambulance ride on a bucket list! I put it on so I could check it off!

I was very ill and alone. I was peaceful, and I knew the Father was with me. We arrived on the 14th floor and the charge nurse introduced me to my nurse for that night and the next night.  

Here is where the Father affirmed his presence, and that He was my hope.

“This is your nurse. His name is Alphonse.”

“No, that cannot be,” I muttered quietly.  

I am sure they thought I was one of “those” patients.

“Yes, ma’am, he will be your nurse.”

“But that is my husband’s name!!”

No one could believe it!  

Who has that name? We all know of Alphonse Capone. But other than the Capone fellow and my husband, I knew of no others.

This nurse, Alphonse from Kenya, was such a blessing to me. His name alone was a comfort since my husband was not allowed to be there. Peace came over me. He was a believer, and we prayed for one another through those nights. 

He had a burden that he had been carrying for years, and I prayed over him. Night was the worse for my pain, so he prayed for me.

All the nurses heard the story and each time they came in my room, “Shang ra La” as I called it, I told them it could be a place of rest. The Lord let me love on every one of them and encourage them in their profession.

“Alphonse” never got to meet my “Alphonse”. In fact, he was not on duty with me after that second night. I told him we were adopting him, after all he was 35 and just a year older than our eldest. He was married, with two precious girls.  

I told our sons that they had an older brother, who just happened to be named after their dad. How “coincidental” is that? I don’t believe in coincidence. It was a “God thing” and will always be.

The doctors continued to test me for all kinds of diseases through that first week. I was in isolation, but with the Father’s continued presence, hope and support… we finally got some answers.

The Father will always be with you in your journey, no matter what it is. He is who I always knew He was. The journey may not be easy, but He will never leave you alone.

In Whom?

In Whom

Where Does Our Trust Lie?

Remember the game, LIFE? I am not a game player, but it did capture some of life. I used to get so frustrated. I wanted to win!! That’s why it is not good for me to play games…I become quite competitive!

There are some spaces missing if memory serves me correctly. I don’t recall a cancer space. I don’t remember seeing anything about loss of a spouse, divorce, political unrest or a pandemic space. In fact, there are many spaces missing. Continue reading In Whom?

The Zinnia Fields

The Father seems to speak to my heart often through His creation.  It has especially loud over the last several months.  This was no exception.

We visited a lovely zinnia field at a local orchard the other day.  The field was awash with colors beyond imagination.  As the flowers softly danced in the gentle breeze, some lovely little creatures visited them.

Hummingbirds, bumblebees and a plethora of butterflies flitted back and forth from flower to flower with not a care in the world.  Little did they know that there was craziness in our world.  Their goal was simply to gather nectar and enjoy their flights!

 

I tried to capture several pictures and as my husband and I walked along the paths; we noticed something at the end of the field that we could not see from the very beginning.  It was another field.  Brown and barren mostly.

But…

We watched a butterfly make its way out of the abundance of flowers and head toward the what appeared to be an empty field.  We followed it.

And then we saw them……

Amongst all the brown and dusty soil there appeared many zinnias.  There was not a field of them, but a dotting of sorts, like a polka dotted tablecloth set for a picnic.

And the butterfly knew the field had value.  

The fields were right next to one another.  It reminded me of the pandemic. 

Scarred, barren, left alone, confused, misunderstood….

The flowers were separated from their kin, lonely and looked as though they had no job.

And yet.

They were thriving.  They had value.  Their life was important.  They were cheerful.  They were still focused on their purpose.

Like us.

Now.

I was reminded of the scripture where Jesus shared about the birds and the lillies of the field.

How can we ever doubt His love for us?

Even when the field looks hopeless.

~Be Encouraged Today

Tammy