This scripture is pretty amazing, especially if you want to take it completely out of context! “I love the Lord, therefore I will write a book to honor Him and it will be a bestseller and I will be able to buy a second home in Florida!”
There are a few things wrong. First, to “take delight” in the Lord means (in the Hebrew)to bend towards, to be inclined towards [an object or person],”to delight or take pleasure in.”
So we are pliable in His hands, we’re bending towards Him. And our desire is to totally have the Lord be our life. When we start looking outward, we lose it. In other words, our desires should line up with His desires. He is Life.
I have been a “performance based” person in the past. I felt like I had to perform a certain way, do tons of “good things” to gain His love. And unfortunately, when circumstances or insecure feelings surface, I can get right back in that mindset.
So, having written a book “finally” and publishing it “finally”…made me realize that the “finally” had not occurred because of my fear of rejection. I had to make sure my heart was truly “delighting in Him.” The desire of my heart truly is to encourage people, and I believe that is His heart as well.
I want to have no “earthly” expectations. I want to trust God, submit myself to Him and His desires, not my own. Would I be thrilled to sell tons of books? Yep. And yes, I love Florida. But I don’t want it be about me, I want it always to be about HIM.
He knew 25 years ago I was not comfortable resting in Christ and my identity was not in HIM. So now is the time.
Have you ever played that game at Christmas when you get to take a gift from someone else in the circle? One of the many gifts that is being passed around is actually not a gag gift, but a gift of value.
I usually choose the one that is wrapped as though it is worth a million dollars. And yes, you guessed it….I unwrap it to find a roll of Christmas toilet paper. So much for the beautifully wrapped gift!Continue reading Beautifully Wrapped Gift→
I wrote this in my journal one day over four years ago…. “Lord, I have felt such anxiety, such depression. I knew you were there but I couldn’t touch you. You were reaching out to me…but it was like I was wandering in a desert. I was so thirsty, but I could not drink. The water was right there. I then began to be consumed with guilt and condemnation about how I had failed as a believer, and that was not from you. I was so consumed that I couldn’t even reach my hand up high enough to touch your lips for even a taste of water. And yet, you never left me. You stayed and reached down and pulled me up…little by little. But I had to be able to see you, to know that you were not a mirage. My reality had to become clearer…..and the increase in medication allowed me to see you again. You never left, but my perception, my vision did. I cannot put into words the pain I felt, I don’t understand it. Some say it was a spiritual attack, and I do know that there are battles…but it was more than that…Now my life circumstances have changed and I can see you again. You are no longer a mirage. You are my reality, my constant companion. I am “me” again…the “me” you designed me to be.
The fog slithers up behind you and engulfs you before you realize it…..