Last week I was at the radio station and played a song, “Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle. This was one of the new songs we start on rotation on Thursdays. I hear it for the first time right along with the listeners.
What a song!
Sometimes it seems like the Father is so quiet. I pray but it seems like He is not answering. Remaining faithful when He is quiet is a faith builder to be sure! And when He doesn’t answer as I think He should…well then it is often harder to trust!
It is as though I am looking at my kitchen pipes and they are clogged. Nothing coming out or going in!
I need to be quiet and “trust” in Him. I must remember when He has been faithful before (keeping a journal has been instrumental in remembering those times through my entire life), and know He is forever faithful.
And so, I remain quiet and try to listen.
Which takes me to a recent Sunday at church. Our pastor was preaching on forgiveness and anger. And yes, I had heard it all before. I had gone through the process of being angry and forgiving my father years ago.
But something began to happen. I began to weep. My heart rate increased and I began to hear that still, small voice.
“Give it up Tamara”. When I hear Tamara I know that it is either my mother…or my Abba Father. “What on earth do I need to give up?” I began to question God. “But Lord, I have already forgiven that guy for what he did to my loved one.” “Nope, you haven’t.”
So I walked down to the altar with tears streaming down my face. The pastor came and prayed with me. I told him how I thought I had forgiven already, yet admitted that when it someone I love that is hurt…well that is harder and maybe I hadn’t truly forgiven.
He responded with spiritual insight that was indeed the Holy Spirit. “God forgave us when we crucified His loved one…when we hurt Him. How can we not do the same?”
That is all it took. It was released…and I left with God. He had been speaking to me for a very long time about my anger, I just wasn’t really listening. I am so glad He is patient with me.
He had not left me, I had just clogged the pipe on my end!
So, even “When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move, When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through, When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You…I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!”
IN CHRIST ALONE
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