Tag Archives: TEACHER MOM

Marriage and Motherhood=Perfection (NOT)

Christianity, Love one another, mom, motherhood, Parenting, Spiritual Encouragement, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Marriage and Motherhood….Both are Perfect (NOT) Give it up!!

My marriage is perfect, my children were and still are perfect, my life is basically perfect….REALLY?

That’s what I want to say to those who profess this!  The one thing I never, ever want to do is sound like my life in these areas have been perfect!  Trust me, they have not been anywhere close.  If there is one thing that gets on my nerves it is people who profess perfection and then don’t even have any life experiences or truth in which to base this condition!!  My pet peeve.  There I said it.  I actually didn’t say everything that goes through my mind, I would be in lots of trouble….

I have been married 34 years to my high school sweetheart.  We have been together for 37 years.  So we have literally grown up together.  We have been through so much together, and learned in that process.  Nothing prepares you for marriage. Nothing.  Not all the “expert” books and articles.  Nothing.   From getting adjusted to way your spouse puts the toilet paper on the roll ….to how you will handle illness or the death of a loved one together…NOTHING will prepare you.

My children were exactly 2 and 1/2 years apart.  It is easy as a mother of adults now to look back at those years and remember only the good times.  But there were bad times.  Nothing prepares you for motherhood..nothing. At all.  Nothing.  From being pregnant with another person growing inside you……to staying up on the couch pretending to be awake while waiting on your teenager to come home…NOTHING prepares you for that.

 NOTHING prepares you for these things.  But Someone will be with you through all those things.  The Father will.  If there is one thing I have learned through the years that has proven invaluable to me it is to  I had to learn to give it up My titles as “wife” and “mother”had to be set aside sometimes.  I had to let Jesus be Jesus in me.  When my husband was upset with me..my first response was so full of my flesh.  I have learned over the years that I had to get rid of me and see him as Jesus saw him.  I had to love him as Jesus loved him.  I had to give up my needs at that time and listen to him.  And trust me, I could not do that on my own…at all.

When one of the boys would come to me with a heavy heart and tell me something (while acting like I had truly been awake watching television..you do what you have to) that as a mother I really did not want to hear…I had to give up.  I had to respond to him as Jesus would.  I couldn’t let my pride get in the way.  I couldn’t let my motherhood throw out advice.  I had to give that all up and love him like Jesus, point him to Jesus.

Minister to your family.  Give it up.  Don’t try to do it in your own strength.  You won’t be perfect, your marriage won’t be perfect, your kids won’t be perfect.  Only HE is perfect.  So “give it up” friend!!! 

Psalm 18:30: “As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.”

2 Corinthians 12:9: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

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isn’t that just the “perfect” picture? wink,wink!

Blessings dear ones~

IN CHRIST ALONE
Isaiah 55:8-9

*personal photographs*

What MOM Can REST?!?

Christianity, Contemporary Christian Music, homeschooling, mom, Spiritual Encouragement, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , ,

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Wait, they are Asleep!! Rest…Wait, Who can REST??….There is Too much to do!!

I have just written a post on “resting in Christ” on my other blog, and thought of motherhood.  How on earth do you rest, let alone “rest in Christ” when you are a busy mother of a toddler, a baby, teenagers?  Not to mention if you have a  job outside your home,  homeschooling duties, ministry opportunities …well you get the picture and I am sure you are asking yourself that question.  

My desire is to give practical advice. Just  STOP!

 Now don’t get too excited.  I did not mean to stop, hop on a plane and head to St. Thomas (although that does sound inviting…hmmmm).  But there are certain things as Moms we just have to do.  We run the household in one way or another.  In this household I taught the boys as soon as they were able to learn how to cook, clean and do their own laundry.  Did it make my life easier?…Well not really, it took some time to teach them… But it did teach  skills that they most certainly have appreciated later in life.

However you choose take care of the household, you are still ultimately responsible.  It is easy to get into that “guilt and condemnation” rut that spews at you…”You never spend time with God, how can you possibly be a good________ (fill in the blank).  Friends, that is not from the Father.  You may not do a personal in depth Bible study daily, but don’t let that stop you from seeking Him everyday!  Never give up!  

I remember that every single day I had on Contemporary Christian music. (You can access http://www.wbvn.org from the internet or google CCM)  I became very consistent in that fact after I caught my eldest at the age of 3 acting out a soap opera that I was just sure he was not paying attention to!  Oh my, that was eye opening!

I tried to always read Bible stories to the kids daily and we believed that spending time on the truth was the most important thing we could do as parents. Although  I didn’t always seem to find the time to personally study or concentrate on God myself, these times with the kids would always minister to me in some way. And “out of the mouths of babes” never became more true!  Some of the discussions we would engage in as they got older will forever be etched in my memory.

Christian Music played a major part in our daily lives as well.   It was either based on scripture, or was scripture.  A three minute song could minister to me as a young mother like nothing else I did. And catching the boys singing a tune without their own awareness spoke volumes!  I could listen while folding laundry or changing a diaper.  They heard it as they played.  Either way I was involved in the spiritual and it affected the climate of our home.  

As I have already said a number of times, my boys are adults.  They actually remember songs that they heard when they were smaller.  I know that scripture has come to their mind many times through a song they sang along with.  As a teacher, I know that many facts can be taught in musical form.  What a better way to teach, and to REST ourselves!

So, take it easy on yourself Mom.  Your heart is in the right place.  There will be a day when they are gone (trust me on this) and you will have all the time in the world.  These seasons of life the Father provides many ways….you just have to be creative in how you access His word daily. 

And when they are down for that nap….take one yourself, or read a verse of scripture…the dishes can wait!!

“Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Be blessed dear ones,

IN CHRIST ALONE
Isaiah 55:8-9

Hello? Who? “Homeschooling Calling”??

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Hello?  What?  Who?  Me?  Excuse Me?!

That is pretty much how it started.  Seriously.  I needed a direct call from God to convince me that I needed to homeschool.  Or at least a hit on the head by a two by four!

Be careful what you pray for.  

I had been a teacher in the public schools.  What would people think of me?  Would I ruin my kids’ lives?  They will be social outcasts, gulp, forever!! There was a lot to consider here.  In 1992 it wasn’t exactly a “popular” thing to do.  We were bordering on the edge of weirdness. 

A lot of my friends thought we were crossing a line.  It was okay to “talk” to God, and even “hear” from Him, but this was a pretty major situation.  I remember one friend even told me…..“You will never get a job in the public school system because it is an insult!  And what about sports, how will your boys ever compete?  I am worried about this Tammy.”

Oh well, wouldn’t be the first time I did something “weird,” it was just be the first time it had an effect on my children.  So back to the praying.  And never tell me God does not have a sense of humor.  

I had delivered some cookies to someone I did not know too well at the time.  She told me as I was leaving that she had felt led to homeschool her daughter.  Remember I did not know her that well?  I told her that my husband had wanted me to pray about it, but that I needed a “two by four” to hit me across the head.  She knew he would.  And he did.

Disclaimer***this is not my suggested way to look for answers from God***

I was crying when I arrived home.  I needed the quietest place in the house.  (Did I mention I had two boys, 6 and 4?)  I think I ended up in the shed or the end of our street, or somewhere like that!   I had my Bible in hand and I begged God to show me what to do.  

I knew the answer already, but I was bucking up against it big time!  I had to retain my reputation in the town!  I had always wanted to teach in my hometown. The boys?  I cannot mess them up Lord!!! What was I doing?  Lord, nooooooooooo!

Wait for it…..WHAM….the two by four.  I opened the Bible to 

Isaiah 54:4-13  “Do not be afraid, you will not suffer shame.  Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.  You will forget the shame of your youth.”  OK.  First whack!!

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken.”  Second Whack!….

“Both your sons will be taught by the Lord and great will be your children’s peace.”WHAM, WHACK, WOW.  

So you see the picture.(Literally…weren’t they cute?)  I had no choice.  I had my confirmation.  Pretty clear to me.  More weeping ensued…throughout the years I might add…not an easy job! But more on that in later blogs.

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We started fall of 1992.  The eldest was homeschooled until his junior year of high school.  He then attended a private high school.  Our other son was homeschooled through seventh grade, eighth in private Christian school and attended a public high school. Both graduated with high school diplomas….and college diplomas…and the youngest received his master’s degree last year.  

I don’t think we ruined their lives.  We accepted the call, and I would do it all over again.  They both said that they are glad we homeschooled them, and they totally enjoyed telling students in their college courses they were homeschooled…just to get a reaction.  Yep, they picked up someone’s sense of humor in school!! Those kids pick up so much from their peers in school…..teehee

Everyone has a different story.  It is a calling, I truly believe.  And I hope I can encourage you in your journey. 

P.S.  I got a job in the public school system in my hometown 10 years ago.  I told you God has a sense of humor!

Blessings,

IN CHRIST ALONE
Isaiah 55:8-9

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