Tag Archives: preparing for motherhood



BFF “Best Friends Forever”

We’ve all heard that term I am sure.  I have three friends that I have had since grade school who are and will forever be my “BFFs”.  We have been through a lot together, supported each other in life, and now have to be together in case one of us forgets something…the other one fills in the blank!!

But recently I witnessed something that I had witnessed before…and cringed in the same manner I had before…a momma trying to be her teenage girl’s best friend.  Over the years I have seen this with some of my sons’ friends and ….gulp….I am sorry, that is not our job!!

We are to “parent” our children.  There will come a time when we become more of their friend, but I believe we are to always be the “parent”.  It seems like I became good friends with my own mother when I had my first son.  Our circumstances were different, I needed her advice on mothering.  We talked a lot, and now that I am older we talk a lot more.  We are almost experiencing some of the same things together! (She’s 20 years older for those wondering). But trust me, she is still my “parent” and lets me know sometimes.  Usually I needed that parenting myself to be honest!!

The King James Version Dictionary defines parent as “1.  A father or mother; he or she that produces young. The duties of parents to their children are to maintain, protect and educate them. When parents are wanting in authority, children are wanting in duty. 2. That which produces; cause; source.”

Wester’s definition- a person who is a father or mother : a person who has a child: an animal or plant that produces a young animal or plant: something out of which another thing has developed

 This may be wrong, but if my boys do something or say something “off”, I tell them.  I am not afraid they won’t like me anymore.  They don’t have to listen, they are adults…and I do it in an appropriate way and don’t nag.  At least that is what I think I do!! But we are still friends…just not best friends!!

In fact, truth be told…I “parent” a lot of people around me.  I just started a part time job and I am working with young people for the first time in years…I have already been talking like a mother.  Guess none of them will claim me as their “BFF”!

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

“Obey” is hupakouo which means to “listen, to harken, of one who on the knock at the door comes to listen who it is;  to harken to a command; obey, be obedient to, submit to”

I ask you, how can our children “obey” us if we are too busy being their BFFs and worried they won’t like us anymore? Trust me when I say that kids need boundaries.  AND kids want boundaries!  They don’t know how to articulate that sometimes, but they do.  I have seen it with my own children and with those I taught in the public schools for years.

We can be their friends….just don’t let being their friend overshadow being their parent!

Blessings dear ones~


Isaiah 55:8-9


Marriage and Motherhood=Perfection (NOT)


Marriage and Motherhood….Both are Perfect (NOT) Give it up!!

My marriage is perfect, my children were and still are perfect, my life is basically perfect….REALLY?

That’s what I want to say to those who profess this!  The one thing I never, ever want to do is sound like my life in these areas have been perfect!  Trust me, they have not been anywhere close.  If there is one thing that gets on my nerves it is people who profess perfection and then don’t even have any life experiences or truth in which to base this condition!!  My pet peeve.  There I said it.  I actually didn’t say everything that goes through my mind, I would be in lots of trouble….

I have been married 34 years to my high school sweetheart.  We have been together for 37 years.  So we have literally grown up together.  We have been through so much together, and learned in that process.  Nothing prepares you for marriage. Nothing.  Not all the “expert” books and articles.  Nothing.   From getting adjusted to way your spouse puts the toilet paper on the roll ….to how you will handle illness or the death of a loved one together…NOTHING will prepare you.

My children were exactly 2 and 1/2 years apart.  It is easy as a mother of adults now to look back at those years and remember only the good times.  But there were bad times.  Nothing prepares you for motherhood..nothing. At all.  Nothing.  From being pregnant with another person growing inside you……to staying up on the couch pretending to be awake while waiting on your teenager to come home…NOTHING prepares you for that.

 NOTHING prepares you for these things.  But Someone will be with you through all those things.  The Father will.  If there is one thing I have learned through the years that has proven invaluable to me it is to  I had to learn to give it up My titles as “wife” and “mother”had to be set aside sometimes.  I had to let Jesus be Jesus in me.  When my husband was upset with me..my first response was so full of my flesh.  I have learned over the years that I had to get rid of me and see him as Jesus saw him.  I had to love him as Jesus loved him.  I had to give up my needs at that time and listen to him.  And trust me, I could not do that on my own…at all.

When one of the boys would come to me with a heavy heart and tell me something (while acting like I had truly been awake watching television..you do what you have to) that as a mother I really did not want to hear…I had to give up.  I had to respond to him as Jesus would.  I couldn’t let my pride get in the way.  I couldn’t let my motherhood throw out advice.  I had to give that all up and love him like Jesus, point him to Jesus.

Minister to your family.  Give it up.  Don’t try to do it in your own strength.  You won’t be perfect, your marriage won’t be perfect, your kids won’t be perfect.  Only HE is perfect.  So “give it up” friend!!! 

Psalm 18:30: “As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.”

2 Corinthians 12:9: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.


isn’t that just the “perfect” picture? wink,wink!

Blessings dear ones~

Isaiah 55:8-9

*personal photographs*