Tag Archives: new mom

Marriage and Motherhood=Perfection (NOT)

Christianity, Love one another, mom, motherhood, Parenting, Spiritual Encouragement, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Marriage and Motherhood….Both are Perfect (NOT) Give it up!!

My marriage is perfect, my children were and still are perfect, my life is basically perfect….REALLY?

That’s what I want to say to those who profess this!  The one thing I never, ever want to do is sound like my life in these areas have been perfect!  Trust me, they have not been anywhere close.  If there is one thing that gets on my nerves it is people who profess perfection and then don’t even have any life experiences or truth in which to base this condition!!  My pet peeve.  There I said it.  I actually didn’t say everything that goes through my mind, I would be in lots of trouble….

I have been married 34 years to my high school sweetheart.  We have been together for 37 years.  So we have literally grown up together.  We have been through so much together, and learned in that process.  Nothing prepares you for marriage. Nothing.  Not all the “expert” books and articles.  Nothing.   From getting adjusted to way your spouse puts the toilet paper on the roll ….to how you will handle illness or the death of a loved one together…NOTHING will prepare you.

My children were exactly 2 and 1/2 years apart.  It is easy as a mother of adults now to look back at those years and remember only the good times.  But there were bad times.  Nothing prepares you for motherhood..nothing. At all.  Nothing.  From being pregnant with another person growing inside you……to staying up on the couch pretending to be awake while waiting on your teenager to come home…NOTHING prepares you for that.

 NOTHING prepares you for these things.  But Someone will be with you through all those things.  The Father will.  If there is one thing I have learned through the years that has proven invaluable to me it is to  I had to learn to give it up My titles as “wife” and “mother”had to be set aside sometimes.  I had to let Jesus be Jesus in me.  When my husband was upset with me..my first response was so full of my flesh.  I have learned over the years that I had to get rid of me and see him as Jesus saw him.  I had to love him as Jesus loved him.  I had to give up my needs at that time and listen to him.  And trust me, I could not do that on my own…at all.

When one of the boys would come to me with a heavy heart and tell me something (while acting like I had truly been awake watching television..you do what you have to) that as a mother I really did not want to hear…I had to give up.  I had to respond to him as Jesus would.  I couldn’t let my pride get in the way.  I couldn’t let my motherhood throw out advice.  I had to give that all up and love him like Jesus, point him to Jesus.

Minister to your family.  Give it up.  Don’t try to do it in your own strength.  You won’t be perfect, your marriage won’t be perfect, your kids won’t be perfect.  Only HE is perfect.  So “give it up” friend!!! 

Psalm 18:30: “As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.”

2 Corinthians 12:9: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

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isn’t that just the “perfect” picture? wink,wink!

Blessings dear ones~

IN CHRIST ALONE
Isaiah 55:8-9

*personal photographs*

What MOM Can REST?!?

Christianity, Contemporary Christian Music, homeschooling, mom, Spiritual Encouragement, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , ,

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Wait, they are Asleep!! Rest…Wait, Who can REST??….There is Too much to do!!

I have just written a post on “resting in Christ” on my other blog, and thought of motherhood.  How on earth do you rest, let alone “rest in Christ” when you are a busy mother of a toddler, a baby, teenagers?  Not to mention if you have a  job outside your home,  homeschooling duties, ministry opportunities …well you get the picture and I am sure you are asking yourself that question.  

My desire is to give practical advice. Just  STOP!

 Now don’t get too excited.  I did not mean to stop, hop on a plane and head to St. Thomas (although that does sound inviting…hmmmm).  But there are certain things as Moms we just have to do.  We run the household in one way or another.  In this household I taught the boys as soon as they were able to learn how to cook, clean and do their own laundry.  Did it make my life easier?…Well not really, it took some time to teach them… But it did teach  skills that they most certainly have appreciated later in life.

However you choose take care of the household, you are still ultimately responsible.  It is easy to get into that “guilt and condemnation” rut that spews at you…”You never spend time with God, how can you possibly be a good________ (fill in the blank).  Friends, that is not from the Father.  You may not do a personal in depth Bible study daily, but don’t let that stop you from seeking Him everyday!  Never give up!  

I remember that every single day I had on Contemporary Christian music. (You can access http://www.wbvn.org from the internet or google CCM)  I became very consistent in that fact after I caught my eldest at the age of 3 acting out a soap opera that I was just sure he was not paying attention to!  Oh my, that was eye opening!

I tried to always read Bible stories to the kids daily and we believed that spending time on the truth was the most important thing we could do as parents. Although  I didn’t always seem to find the time to personally study or concentrate on God myself, these times with the kids would always minister to me in some way. And “out of the mouths of babes” never became more true!  Some of the discussions we would engage in as they got older will forever be etched in my memory.

Christian Music played a major part in our daily lives as well.   It was either based on scripture, or was scripture.  A three minute song could minister to me as a young mother like nothing else I did. And catching the boys singing a tune without their own awareness spoke volumes!  I could listen while folding laundry or changing a diaper.  They heard it as they played.  Either way I was involved in the spiritual and it affected the climate of our home.  

As I have already said a number of times, my boys are adults.  They actually remember songs that they heard when they were smaller.  I know that scripture has come to their mind many times through a song they sang along with.  As a teacher, I know that many facts can be taught in musical form.  What a better way to teach, and to REST ourselves!

So, take it easy on yourself Mom.  Your heart is in the right place.  There will be a day when they are gone (trust me on this) and you will have all the time in the world.  These seasons of life the Father provides many ways….you just have to be creative in how you access His word daily. 

And when they are down for that nap….take one yourself, or read a verse of scripture…the dishes can wait!!

“Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Be blessed dear ones,

IN CHRIST ALONE
Isaiah 55:8-9

Both Sides of the Coin

Christianity, homeschooling, Love one another, mom, Spiritual Encouragement, teachers, , , , , , , , , , ,

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Have you ever been on “both sides of the coin?”  

Most of us have been at one time or another.  An employee/employer.  Child/Parent.  That is one of my favorites.  You know, when you get around your parents and they make you feel like a twelve year old again?  Or at my age when you get around your boys and they like to tease and make you feel like a very old woman!!  Mine enjoy that for some strange reason!

At any rate, I have been…in chronological order….a student, a brand new public school teacher, a brand new mom, a homeschooling mom, a mom of public/private school teenagers, and a public school teacher again.  So, as you can see I have been on both sides of the coin.  In fact, I have been on both sides of several coins! Sometimes I was shiny, other times very dull and pretty scratched up!

I believe that the Father can use all the experiences in this life to help others; and most often times He helps us.  As I held all these roles I have learned many things.  The most recent role as a public school special education teacher taught me many lessons.  God allowed all these experiences (plus many others) to make me the teacher and the person I knew He wanted me to be. Of course, I am still a work in progress, trust me!!

Once a parent, I became a better teacher.  That was my personal experience.  I no longer acted like I knew everything there was to know about teaching and parenting.  I realized that when someone was sitting across the table from you discussing your child, you took it personally if something was said that was condescending toward your child in any way.  I met parents in a different manner as a result of this experience.

I became a better teacher when I had children of my own because I finally understood unconditional love.  I will never forget looking into my sons’ eyes….and understanding that I would lay down my life for each of them…anytime, anyway. I felt like I “mothered” my students, and taught them as if they were my very own flesh and blood.

I have watched with horror over the last few years as some of our schools have become targets of senseless shootings.  But I have been filled with complete understanding as I have heard some of these teachers say “they are my kids when they are here at school and I will protect them the best I can.” Every teacher I have worked with has had that same attitude.

 I became a better teacher because I homeschooled my own children.  I was forced to put all I learned into practice about children having different learning styles, how God had indeed created them differently;  that each child had a purpose.  I honestly got to teach as I saw fit for each child.  This helped me see all the special qualities of my students. 

As a student, I can honestly say teachers were my heroes.  My parents divorced when I was in junior high and three teachers took time to talk to me and help me through this difficult time.  I always knew I would be a teacher.  It indeed was my calling.

Yes, I recently quit teaching.  The season changed.  It is not the same world I grew up in…and teachers aren’t given the respect that they once were given.  It is a very difficult job right now.  My hats are off to all of them.  They teach responsibility, respect, safety, morals; not to mention Math, Reading, Science, etc. Trust me when I say that there is not enough time in the day.  Education seems to be blamed for everything right now. I believe there are many reasons, but it is not for this time. Teaching had literally affected my spiritual, emotional, mental and physical health. It was time to be healed.

So maybe being on “both sides of the coin” can make us more compassionate towards others.  Maybe we can treat one another with more respect.  Maybe we can realize that we don’t understand everyone else’s circumstances. Maybe we can ask each other questions without being condescending towards one another. Maybe we can use our experiences to love on people as the Father would have us love on others. Maybe we can encourage one another…whether student, parent, teacher or homeschooling mom!!

Coins can have a shiny appearance, or be very dull and full of scratches.  Which are you?  Oh, how I pray my side can be shiny to all I meet and come in contact with these days!

“A new command I give you.  Love one another. As I have loved you, so must you love one another. By this you will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

Blessings dear ones…

IN CHRIST ALONE
Isaiah 55:8-9