Category Archives: Parenting

Just Like Their Daddy

February 17, 2014Christianity, mom, motherhood, Parenting, Spiritual Encouragement, UncategorizedAbba Father, Biblical teaching, encouragement for moms, Father, Jesus, John 14, new mom, teach children in the way they should go, Unconditional loveT.W. Allgaier

He Looks just like his Daddy!!

My husband and I are the proud parents of two adult men. Wow, that is weird evening saying that…it seems like yesterday we were the proud parents of two little boys! They truly do grow up quickly. I cannot stress that enough. I remember people telling me that and I seriously thought I would be crushing cheerios underfoot for the rest of my adult life!

One thing that always made us proud was when someone told us that the boys looked “just like their daddy.” Although I was a “stay at home mom” who cared for those youngsters, on occasion I thought it would be nice if someone said at least one of them looked like me!! My husband was out working sometimes very long hours so I could stay home. Of course I thought I did all the work, so if one of them looked like me I felt like I was at least getting some credit, at least it seemed that way! But loving my Godly husband and realizing this was a compliment, I often let it slide; it was a blessing that they looked just like their Daddy.

As the boys aged, their appearances changed, as well as the development of their own special personalities. The eldest one really favors his father. His mannerisms and voice are very similar to his dad. The youngest one has many of those characteristics as well, although he does favor me just a bit!! I must say that my hazel eyes are no where to be found.

What a picture of God. What a compliment to be told you look like your Father! Jesus spoke to the disciples in John 14:9-11 “Jesus answered, ‘Don’t you know me Phillip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say ‘Show us the Father?’ Don’t you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words I say are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves.'”

“Seen” in the above verse means that we have “perceived, discerned clearly, to behold. To see with the eyes, to experience.” (Strong’s) Jesus was responding to Phillip’s request in verse 8..“Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” Gees, I bet Jesus was scratching his head thinking he had been with them all this time and they still didn’t get it! Jesus was in the Father and the Father in Him. All that the disciples had seen should have proven to them who Jesus was, yet they still had a hard time “seeing” the Father. They did not “perceive” who he really was and why he was here on earth. (Of course we aren’t very different, are we?)

He showed characteristics of the Father over and over. He healed, he comforted, he ministered, he taught, he wept, he laughed..he loved unconditionally. Jesus’ life was the life of the Father. While fully man, he was fully GOD. All the attributes that Jesus possessed were a picture of what God was and IS to His children today! Can’t you hear it now…an elderly lady on the road to gather water at the town well passes Jesus as a child. She tousles his hair and comments, “I tell you what Jesus, you look just like your Daddy!” Jesus just smiled in agreement, the truth never being more true!

As parents, we have the honor, privilege and responsibility to “train up the child”. What better teaching than to show them who the Father truly is? We shared many of our life experiences with the kids as we felt we should. Why? To show them how the Father worked in our lives, and even when we weren’t perfect, He always was. His unconditional love is truly that…unconditional.

So I guess we must ask ourselves…do we look like our Daddy? Do our kids? A greater compliment cannot be given…..

Blessings dear ones..

IN CHRIST ALONE

Isaiah 55:8-9

*Strongs, Google clip art*

Going Out on a Limb…Creak!!

February 12, 2014Christianity, homeschooling, mom, motherhood, Parenting, Spiritual Encouragement, teachers, Uncategorizedencouragement for moms, Jesus in Marriage, spiritual encouragement, time for Moms, wifeT.W. Allgaier

Going Out on a Limb today….

I love this picture. I have a very long story about a “yellow bird”. Suffice it to say, God has given me a personal rainbow many, many times in my life…and “yellow fellow” is it. I actually think it is funny that I found it as something “out on a limb”. Could it be that what I am going to say is important to someone? We shall see…

From my previous posts I would hope you understand what motherhood means to me. I truly believe that it is the most important job I have had or will ever have. Hands down. I believe I poured my life into my kids, and that I was a pretty good mother while they were in this house. In fact, I believe that I am still a good mom.

Here comes the limb part…..I might fall off. The limb might break…you might disagree. Even seeing it in print causes me to gulp a bit. Here is comes….

Your Kids Should Not Be Your Life! I confess that mine were. In fact, I have had to check myself over and over to make sure that they are not my life even now.

As a public school teacher the last ten years, I have seen some parents that are so absorbed in themselves that their little guys are simply a burden. I am not talking to those parents.

I am talking to moms who take the time to read blogs about parenting. I am talking to teacher moms, who have a huge job not only taking care of their biological children, but their school children as well. I am talking to homeschool moms, who have the tendency to be swallowed up by the life of homeschooling. I was one of those moms! My husband worked late hours many nights, so it was just me and the two boys for years. We did everything together! Not only was it my responsibility to clothe them, feed them, provide shelter, provide guidance, take them to all their practices… but we had chosen to be responsible for their education!! What were we thinking?

Being a “type A” personality, I took it all very seriously. I loved being with my boys. We had fun. I was overwhelmed many days with the fact that I was raising “men”. But quite frankly, they came first in everything. Maybe it was because my parents were divorced when I was young, and I overcompensated. But they came before my well being, my marriage, and yes, gulp, even my personal relationship with God.

I am not proud of it. I think the fact hit me hard once the boys were both out of the house. I didn’t feel needed anymore. I missed them so much it hurt physically. Moms would tell me this when my sons were younger : “A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter a daughter for the rest of her life.” And I didn’t believe it. It is true to a degree…and if we have raised our sons correctly, it should be.

Mark 10:6-8 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Your kids cannot come before your physical and mental well being, your marriage or your personal relationship with the Father. Trust me when I say, if you take care of these things…you will be a better Mom, one that God created you to be.

My husband and I both agreed on what we did. We have learned to date again, and gotten use to it just being “us”. We are a family now.

Practical advice from the limb crawler:

1. Take the dog out for a walk, daily. Or walk down the street in any weather for at least 15 minutes. Do it alone if possible.

2. Get up 10 minutes earlier, or stay up 10 minutes later. Spend time with the Lord. Not just the time you are teaching your children the Word, but read your Bible alone, or a devotion. Write in a journal, pray. You don’t have to do ALL of them at once. But just spending time with you and your Father will start or end your day in the right way. And don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day or two!!

3. Get away with your beloved hubby. Even if it is just a walk down the street with you. Talk (try to make it about something else but the kids), listen. Sit on the back porch together…alone. And for goodness sake, try to have a date night or date morning once a month.

4. As your kids get older and don’t “need” you as much, cultivate your hobby. Take a class. Do something that does not involve the kids. I always said that when kids get their drivers license it is practice for when they won’t be living with you anymore.

5. Love God. Keep HIM first. Your life should be poured into Him. You may not be able to spend hours upon hours with Him when the kids are little, but trust me…you will get more time as they grow.

Mark 12:30-31 “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength’. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

It is a fine line, I will admit. But one that deserves your attention. We live in a day and time that keeps us more than busy. And I believe that the enemy finds joy in that. Something might have to stop, that extra piano lesson, a clean countertop before bed. I found out that the kids were always fine when we left them with someone. We did make some attempts to have dates. And I am SO glad now.

The boys have their own lives. I don’t ever want to be that mother that meddles, or the “mother in law” that does! But it took some getting use to. Learn from my experiences. Be creative. Don’t make your children your life….

Creak…did it break? Hope not!!

Blessings dear ones~

IN CHRIST ALONE

Isaiah 55:8-9

I would NEVER…Just Ask Me!

February 10, 2014Christianity, homeschooling, Love one another, mom, motherhood, Parenting, Spiritual Encouragement, Uncategorizedencouragement for moms, homeschooling mom, loving our children, raising children, unconditional love for childrenT.W. Allgaier

I would NEVER ……just ask me!

Yep, I thought I knew it all. Had all the answers.

You’ve probably heard people say that phrase… I was one of those women who would say things like…”If I were that kid’s mom, I would never let him throw a fit like that in front of people in a grocery store.” Then I had a two year old. And we went to a grocery store.

Or “No teenager of mine would be living in my house if he did___________!” Then I had two teenagers that continued to live in my house.

How easy is it to say what we would do in situations in which we have no idea what we would really do! It always made me feel better about myself when I could point out the failures in “parenting” as I came upon these situations.

I asked the Lord forgiveness for that attitude. And thankfully I was forgiven.

I think that the older you get, the less you realize that you know. Oh sure, experience, trials and troubles have brought a bit of wisdom, but I don’t pretend like I know it all anymore. That is not a characteristic of confidence. The only thing I am confident is Christ in me.

Galatians 2:20-21: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. 21 I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain.”

We have the opportunity to help others that have gone through parenting situations that we might have gone through. And when parents are dealing with something that we ourselves have not dealt with, we have the opportunity to be supportive…not pass judgement. We need to encourage one another. Let the Christ in us encourage.

As for me, when I look at all the careers and jobs I have had over the years, being a parent was the toughest. It was one of the most important things I ever did to be sure…but it was also the hardest. The responsibility became overwhelming sometimes if I really thought about it. So I had to learn to give it to the Father. I had to truly trust Him with my children’s lives.

I told someone last night that God loves our children more than we can even imagine.

Luke 11:11-13 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Isaiah 49:15-16 : “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-6: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

We have to come to the point in our lives as parents when we realize that we simply do not have all the answers. We do the best we can. And we trust the One who created our children. We were loaned a gift, one that He created. Our job is to teach them in the ways of the Lord and love them unconditionally.

Truly love them unconditionally, and realize as parents that we really don’t know it all.

Whether they throw a fit in the grocery store, or do something in which they should not be allowed to live in your house.

Blessings dear ones~

IN CHRIST ALONE

Isaiah 55:8-9