Tag Archives: Teaching

Behavior-Respect=Lack of Discipline

homeschooling, Love one another, mom, motherhood, Parenting, Spiritual Encouragement, teachers, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , ,

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An Observed Formula

As a former teacher and mom of adult children, I have made a number of observations.  I cannot say that they are correct, nor can I claim any scientific evidence. But it is was I have observed…my formula so to speak.

Behavior-Respect=Lack of Discipline

Behavior is defined as “the manner of conducting oneself” (Merriam-Webster)    Respect is defined “a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.” and “a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way” (Merriam-Webster).  Discipline is defined as “control that is gained by requiring that rules or orders be obeyed and punishing bad behavior” or  “a way of behaving that shows a willingness to obey rules or orders”.(Merriam-Webster)

How interesting.  Could it be that simple?

The manner of conducting oneself, without the feeling of value leads to lack of behaving in a way that shows a willingness to obey rules?

Yep.  I think it is.

If we don’t teach our children how to have respect for themselves and others, they will have no reason to follow any rules.  What does it really matter to them?  I am mindful of Mark 12:30-31, when Jesus was responding to a question by one of the “teachers of the law” when he asked what the greatest commandments was, and Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.”

Hopefully we teach our children to love their neighbors, but do we teach them to love their neighbor as they do themselves?  Now I am not talking about the way some might do…the child can do no wrong, I am talking about respect and love.  Teaching your child their value…..that God has a plan for them.  How their lives are so important and they count for something. How Jesus loves them “without condition”.

I have seen both sides of that pendulum.  Children who are given no respect at home, practically raising themselves, and don’t understand what it means to love others and put their needs first.  They are kids for heaven’s sake, and yet the needs of those raising them comes first.  I have seen it folks, firsthand and it is sad.  How can a child dealing with those issues be full of respect for others and be disciplined at the same time?

Most of the issues I dealt with at school involved a lack of respect for themselves, friends and those in authority.  I get it.  But dealing with those behaviors while trying to educate is not always a happy mix. (But that is another blog!)

At any rate, I feel as though I am rambling, and I most likely am…but it breaks my heart.  Our children, the children that are growing up around us…are they taught or given unconditional love?  Can we as teachers, parents, friends…give it?  Does it mean allowing a child to do what he wants when he wants it?  Is our society disrespectful in general?  What can we do?

I don’t have all the answers and will never pretend to have them.  But the one thing I know for sure is that we must love.  We must teach our children the true meaning of unconditional love.  Then we must surrender to the Lord Jesus and allow Him to love others through us. How you teach that is up to you and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

I spent much of my day teaching and demanding respect.  But my students knew that I loved them.  They knew that they were important to me.  They knew that the discipline (to train, to teach, to educate..Strongs) was because of the love I had for them, due to the unconditional love shown me through Christ. The children were not the reason I stopped teaching..although having my proverbial “hands tied” did contribute …  (But that too is another blog)

So what is the answer? Jesus.  Knowing who He really is…having an intimate relationship with Him and not making it about “rules and regulations”  Without the love, rules and regulations will just lead to rebellion. (But that is another blog too!!)

I hope that I have given you some things to ponder.  I would love to hear your thoughts on my observed formula!  And it appears as though I have three more blogs to write….education and dealing with discipline issues….teachers leaving the field…rules and regulations without relationship…..hmmmmmm…..

Blessings dear ones~

IN CHRIST ALONE

Isaiah 55:8-9

Moms~Do you Realize?

Christianity, homeschooling, mom, motherhood, Parenting, Spiritual Encouragement, teachers, Uncategorized, , , , , , , ,

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Moms…I wonder if you realize you are your child’s first teacher?

When I first started my teaching career, I had not yet become a mother.  In fact, as you will remember from an earlier post, I didn’t ever want to be one!  (Me a Mom?  Never say Never).  But I was an expert in raising children.  You could have asked me and I would have told you.

I have asked God to forgive me for the number of times I sat across the table from a mother and told her what she was doing wrong as a parent.  I am not kidding.  Why her child was having the learning difficulties he was having….oh, I was kind in my wording, but I still said it.  By the way, God did forgive me.  For I truly did not know what I was doing.  I was fresh out of college and at the age that made me an expert at everything!

Then, I became a MOM.  At first I thought the reason I read to my womb was because I was “officially” a teacher.  Then I realized that my profession did not matter.  I was my child’s first teacher.  I knew that the first few years were the formative years.  Playing “peek a boo”, walking, talking…all of these milestones happened before my child would ever step one foot into a classroom.

  I have found in my later years a couple of things.  First, some parents don’t understand that responsibility or they don’t feel like they are “teachers”.  Well you are!! One way or another you are teaching your child.  Their “ABC’s” and “1,2,3’s”and values… by actually helping them determine right from wrong, or seeing the example you are setting. You will teach your child morals and values…or someone else will.   But make no mistake about it you are your child’s first teacher! 

Remembering my first child’s birth, I gasped when I realized the tremendous responsibility I had.  I read all the books, compared him to friend’s babies….when should he crawl, is he on schedule?  Pressure.  And quite honestly, as good at telling parents how to parent before parenting myself…I was as good being that parent.  Or so I thought.  Then someone talked to me.

“Relax” she said.  “You cannot teach him everything he must know.  Children learn at different speeds, in different styles.  The most important thing you can do is love your child….and give him TIME. Teach him about Jesus and pray with him.”   I heeded her advice.  And I relaxed.

Moms….relax.  Enjoy your child.  Work his vocabulary when you take him to the grocery store and pick up can goods.  Talk to him when you take a walk, pointing out all the beauty of nature.  Read to him (this is one of the most important thing you can do in my humble opinion), sing to him (even if off key), play with him.  And the most important?  Teach him about Jesus.  Start early and never stop.  Learning is “caught, not taught”. In some cases that can be good…some bad.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,  so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”  2 Timothy 3:16-17

 Once I went back into teaching after my boys were mostly grown, I realized many things.  First of all, I quit sitting across from parents pretending like I knew it all.  Even though there were some things I was concerned about, I never was condescending.  I knew that parent loved the child more than I ever could understand.

Second of all, some moms just needed suggestions on how to “teach” their children.  Many times they began to realize that it wasn’t the “teacher’s responsibility” to do all the teaching.  All in all, my motherhood made me a better teacher.

So moms…always teach.  You are the first.

Blessings~

IN CHRIST ALONE

Isaiah 55:8-9

*NIV Bible, google clipart image

Hello? Who? “Homeschooling Calling”??

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Hello?  What?  Who?  Me?  Excuse Me?!

That is pretty much how it started.  Seriously.  I needed a direct call from God to convince me that I needed to homeschool.  Or at least a hit on the head by a two by four!

Be careful what you pray for.  

I had been a teacher in the public schools.  What would people think of me?  Would I ruin my kids’ lives?  They will be social outcasts, gulp, forever!! There was a lot to consider here.  In 1992 it wasn’t exactly a “popular” thing to do.  We were bordering on the edge of weirdness. 

A lot of my friends thought we were crossing a line.  It was okay to “talk” to God, and even “hear” from Him, but this was a pretty major situation.  I remember one friend even told me…..“You will never get a job in the public school system because it is an insult!  And what about sports, how will your boys ever compete?  I am worried about this Tammy.”

Oh well, wouldn’t be the first time I did something “weird,” it was just be the first time it had an effect on my children.  So back to the praying.  And never tell me God does not have a sense of humor.  

I had delivered some cookies to someone I did not know too well at the time.  She told me as I was leaving that she had felt led to homeschool her daughter.  Remember I did not know her that well?  I told her that my husband had wanted me to pray about it, but that I needed a “two by four” to hit me across the head.  She knew he would.  And he did.

Disclaimer***this is not my suggested way to look for answers from God***

I was crying when I arrived home.  I needed the quietest place in the house.  (Did I mention I had two boys, 6 and 4?)  I think I ended up in the shed or the end of our street, or somewhere like that!   I had my Bible in hand and I begged God to show me what to do.  

I knew the answer already, but I was bucking up against it big time!  I had to retain my reputation in the town!  I had always wanted to teach in my hometown. The boys?  I cannot mess them up Lord!!! What was I doing?  Lord, nooooooooooo!

Wait for it…..WHAM….the two by four.  I opened the Bible to 

Isaiah 54:4-13  “Do not be afraid, you will not suffer shame.  Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.  You will forget the shame of your youth.”  OK.  First whack!!

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken.”  Second Whack!….

“Both your sons will be taught by the Lord and great will be your children’s peace.”WHAM, WHACK, WOW.  

So you see the picture.(Literally…weren’t they cute?)  I had no choice.  I had my confirmation.  Pretty clear to me.  More weeping ensued…throughout the years I might add…not an easy job! But more on that in later blogs.

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We started fall of 1992.  The eldest was homeschooled until his junior year of high school.  He then attended a private high school.  Our other son was homeschooled through seventh grade, eighth in private Christian school and attended a public high school. Both graduated with high school diplomas….and college diplomas…and the youngest received his master’s degree last year.  

I don’t think we ruined their lives.  We accepted the call, and I would do it all over again.  They both said that they are glad we homeschooled them, and they totally enjoyed telling students in their college courses they were homeschooled…just to get a reaction.  Yep, they picked up someone’s sense of humor in school!! Those kids pick up so much from their peers in school…..teehee

Everyone has a different story.  It is a calling, I truly believe.  And I hope I can encourage you in your journey. 

P.S.  I got a job in the public school system in my hometown 10 years ago.  I told you God has a sense of humor!

Blessings,

IN CHRIST ALONE
Isaiah 55:8-9

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