Tag Archives: seasons in life

Checklists and Ropes…Part 1

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Yoo-Hoo!  Over here…look at what I am doing!  Is she upset with me?  Did I make her mad?  Did I do that right?!?! Did I , could I, should I??

Good grief! Ok, confession here.  These are not the rantings of an adolescent, but that of a 52 year old woman!  Not out loud where people could actually hear it….but ah, those thoughts ran through my head many a day!

Last time I talked about my “performance based acceptance” and the legalism that bound me for several years.  It took me a while to quit making those checklists and get “free” and realize I was to live under grace! I had to break my pencil to quit those lists! Well let me tell you, the checklist reappeared and with it a very tight rope. And I helped tighten it!

I just re-read a blog from last year during this time and I was indeed swirling.  I was in a deep, dark hole…spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally.  I did not realize how deep until I cut that rope and threw away that list!  I felt I was just “going through the motions and hanging on to God.”  Actually, I see now that He was “hanging on to me.”

I had re-entered the public school system as a teacher about 10 years ago.  I felt led to do so and the Father opened up a job.  In one day I had an interview and got a job.  I really was only half way looking since my wise husband had been praying for a way to pay for our son’s college education.  I had homeschooled them and they were about to further that education.  It was a total God thing to get a job that I did not know even existed!! I always felt it was for a season.  A time to help financially, and then I would be released.  

I stayed two years too long.  How do I know that?  The youngest graduated two years ago…but I thought I could hang on long enough for a partial retirement.  A “dangling” carrot of sorts.  Not that there is anything wrong with a pension, but it became my primary goal and I truly wasn’t listening when the Father was trying to get my attention. At the end of that checklist I saw a small bunch of carrots and had to get to them!

The rope almost choked me in October.  I started the school year, trying to muster up a good attitude.  I had started losing my hair in tremendous volume and all over ( but thick, curly hair provided a good comb over on my head..) and had a bout with a very curable skin cancer ( its placement kept me from raising my left arm for several weeks..long enough for my husband to have to basically set up my room) But I was strong, I could do it!!

Therein lies the issue.  I could not do it in my own strength.  Last year at this time I had to increase my anxiety medicine. (Another blog) and I felt awful.  The rope around me continued to tighten, and I just stood there! The checklist increased in length.  October 1st…. I gave up.  I quit. I bailed.  

I will share more of this story next time…stay tuned!
Blessings,
IN CHRIST ALONE
Isaiah 55:8-9
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Oh How HE Loves Us…

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OH How He loves us! Are you hearing that special praise and worship song in your head right now? It is TRUE!!

I have been writing about our identity, but will deviate from it this time. I will go back to the listing of misconceptions we have about who we are next time!

I have been asked how we know His voice? How do we know that God is speaking to us? We listen to Him when reading His word and in prayer. He speaks to us through His creation, His world. The Lord wants us to know that we are loved and I believe that He does not want His presence to be a mystery to us.

John 1:1-2 says: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.”

Hebrews 4:12 says: “For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges thoughts and the attitude of the heart.

He speaks to us through His word and meets us right where we are in our lives. The supernatural thing is that He speaks to many, many people at the same time. He speaks to where our needs lie at the time. It does not matter if it is a three year old little boy listening to a Bible story or and eighty-three year old grandmother through an in depth Bible study…He speaks through His word! He loves us!

If we go back to the scripture, notice..The Word of God is LIVING. It is able to minister to me, to guide me, to fit my stage of life…WHY? Because it LIVES! It always has been and always will be! It lives and breathes..kind of like a good pair of shoes made of leather. Once you wear these shoes, they take on the shape and feel of your foot and fits perfectly! Oh how He loves us!

“Living” is a verb that translates to the word…zao in the Greek. It literally means to live, breathe, be among the living (not lifeless, not dead),to enjoy real life! Isn’t that awesome!?
God’s word is not only alive, it brings LIFE to us! God has given us this living, breathing Word of love to bring us victory in our everyday life! That is love like no other.

The Bible is not to be viewed as a list of “do’s and don’ts”, but a guide to live as He knows is best for us. Love is the key to living this life and living is so much more abundantly.

I actually wrote a devotional on this in 2001. I am (but shouldn’t be) amazed how He used it in my life then (as a stay at home mom who homeschooled and worked as a radio announcer) to today…a just retired special education teacher (I actually felt led to quit) who is now middle aged. An empty nester who is being healed, refreshed, and renewed. That’s just like my Abba Father, my Daddy. Meets me where I am….because of love.

My prayer is that you will be encouraged today, whichever season of life in which you are in…HE loves you and wants you to know it…He left His love letter for you. And it is alive.
Oh my….HOW HE loves us.

Blessings Dear Ones…
IN CHRIST ALONE

Isaiah 55:8-9

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Seasons in Life

Image Seasons.  Most of us experience a change in seasons about four times a year.  Where I live, it seems like you can experience at least two of them in one week.  Like right now.  We are supposed to have some severe weather; while Monday it was cold and in the 20’s.  Go figure.  Seasons indeed change, just as the seasons in our lives. I have experienced such a change of late.  I am no longer teaching.  I taught in the 80’s for five years, then stayed home to be a mom to the two wonderful sons that God blessed us with.  I also was able to homeschool them, something I would do all over again.  During those years on and off I worked at a Crisis Pregnancy Center, as a radio announcer, Bible study teacher, and many other things.  As with many, life offered its “ups and downs” through deaths, storms, health issues, etc.  But God got us through each and every thing, each and every time. I had been praying that the Father would release me from my teaching job for several years.  I knew He had given it to me (in one day I might add, when I did not know one was available), so I knew that He would release me when it was time.  I knew that the season would be over one day and I would go on to other things He had for me to be involved in.  Unbeknownst to me, I had been released about two years earlier, but I was waiting for a “job” to fall in my lap before I could move on.  I found out if I worked 8 more years, I would pull a small retirement.  I had to hang on!  A dangling carrot of sort. Almost daily I wanted to stop working.  The laws governing special education were tedious and required an incredible amount of paperwork.  My students had more issues than ever before, and I was unable to give them all they needed.  I felt as though I were being wrapped over and over by a strong rope and literally losing myself.  I was getting lost, and I wasn’t hearing the voice of God.  I simply was so drained that I hardly recognized it anymore. So on October 1, after much prayer and confirmation…I resigned my position.  I had been through skin cancer and severe hair loss the past summer. The total body hair loss was most likely stress, as three doctors pointed out.  I am not saying that the skin cancer came from stress, but I know that it was a contributing factor. I took a step out in faith.  I had to believe that God would take care of us.  He always had, and He wouldn’t stop now.  I found some online work and starting selling some wreaths and craft items I so loved to make.  I was overwhelmed with the confirmation He gave me over and over in His word. I am not going to pretend to understand all that is going on.  I just know that He is faithful.  I believe that I am healing.  I did not know how bad I felt until now.  A month has passed and I feel like my old self again.  I can minister and love on people with a full supply.  I am no longer empty, nor drained like I was.  I am sleeping, and I am not losing nearly as much hair!  And it is growing back as well!!  I did master the “comb over” since my hair has always been curly and thick! So my encouragement today is this:  1.) Listen.  Don’t think He is not speaking to you, He is..sometimes the noise of this world drowns Him out.  2.)  Just as the temperatures, our “seasons” in life change.  One day you are with your little boys on the beach, and the next thing you know you are 53 years old and writing about it on a blog.  But enjoy the ride…He is always working and loving us. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts”. Isaiah 55:8