Yelobrd777

Encouragement for Today~In today's world of swirling circumstances, we need to be reminded of how much we are loved by God.

Checklists and Ropes…Part 1

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RopeManilla2Inch_Quest

Yoo-Hoo!  Over here…look at what I am doing!  Is she upset with me?  Did I make her mad?  Did I do that right?!?! Did I , could I, should I??

Good grief! Ok, confession here.  These are not the rantings of an adolescent, but that of a 52 year old woman!  Not out loud where people could actually hear it….but ah, those thoughts ran through my head many a day!

Last time I talked about my “performance based acceptance” and the legalism that bound me for several years.  It took me a while to quit making those checklists and get “free” and realize I was to live under grace! I had to break my pencil to quit those lists! Well let me tell you, the checklist reappeared and with it a very tight rope. And I helped tighten it!

I just re-read a blog from last year during this time and I was indeed swirling.  I was in a deep, dark hole…spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally.  I did not realize how deep until I cut that rope and threw away that list!  I felt I was just “going through the motions and hanging on to God.”  Actually, I see now that He was “hanging on to me.”

I had re-entered the public school system as a teacher about 10 years ago.  I felt led to do so and the Father opened up a job.  In one day I had an interview and got a job.  I really was only half way looking since my wise husband had been praying for a way to pay for our son’s college education.  I had homeschooled them and they were about to further that education.  It was a total God thing to get a job that I did not know even existed!! I always felt it was for a season.  A time to help financially, and then I would be released.  

I stayed two years too long.  How do I know that?  The youngest graduated two years ago…but I thought I could hang on long enough for a partial retirement.  A “dangling” carrot of sorts.  Not that there is anything wrong with a pension, but it became my primary goal and I truly wasn’t listening when the Father was trying to get my attention. At the end of that checklist I saw a small bunch of carrots and had to get to them!

The rope almost choked me in October.  I started the school year, trying to muster up a good attitude.  I had started losing my hair in tremendous volume and all over ( but thick, curly hair provided a good comb over on my head..) and had a bout with a very curable skin cancer ( its placement kept me from raising my left arm for several weeks..long enough for my husband to have to basically set up my room) But I was strong, I could do it!!

Therein lies the issue.  I could not do it in my own strength.  Last year at this time I had to increase my anxiety medicine. (Another blog) and I felt awful.  The rope around me continued to tighten, and I just stood there! The checklist increased in length.  October 1st…. I gave up.  I quit. I bailed.  

I will share more of this story next time…stay tuned!
Blessings,
IN CHRIST ALONE
Isaiah 55:8-9
*google search image*

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Author: sptchmom777

I love Jesus. If I say nothing else, that is enough. But for those curiosity seekers, I am a 56 year old former special education teacher, current part time CCM Radio Announcer who is married to her high school sweetheart. We have been together for 40 years, married 37 of those years! We have raised two sons, who are now married, have jobs and mortgages. We have our furry son, a West Highland Terrier. It wasn't always easy, and I like sharing some insights from those "mommy" and "teaching" years. I also want to encourage people in their daily life. I believe that the Father speaks to us all the time, sometimes I have been too busy to listen. Even during times of trials and troubles, He is ever present. ~Be Encouraged Today~

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