Category Archives: homeschooling

Moms~Do you Realize?

momandchild

Moms…I wonder if you realize you are your child’s first teacher?

When I first started my teaching career, I had not yet become a mother.  In fact, as you will remember from an earlier post, I didn’t ever want to be one!  (Me a Mom?  Never say Never).  But I was an expert in raising children.  You could have asked me and I would have told you.

I have asked God to forgive me for the number of times I sat across the table from a mother and told her what she was doing wrong as a parent.  I am not kidding.  Why her child was having the learning difficulties he was having….oh, I was kind in my wording, but I still said it.  By the way, God did forgive me.  For I truly did not know what I was doing.  I was fresh out of college and at the age that made me an expert at everything!

Then, I became a MOM.  At first I thought the reason I read to my womb was because I was “officially” a teacher.  Then I realized that my profession did not matter.  I was my child’s first teacher.  I knew that the first few years were the formative years.  Playing “peek a boo”, walking, talking…all of these milestones happened before my child would ever step one foot into a classroom.

  I have found in my later years a couple of things.  First, some parents don’t understand that responsibility or they don’t feel like they are “teachers”.  Well you are!! One way or another you are teaching your child.  Their “ABC’s” and “1,2,3’s”and values… by actually helping them determine right from wrong, or seeing the example you are setting. You will teach your child morals and values…or someone else will.   But make no mistake about it you are your child’s first teacher! 

Remembering my first child’s birth, I gasped when I realized the tremendous responsibility I had.  I read all the books, compared him to friend’s babies….when should he crawl, is he on schedule?  Pressure.  And quite honestly, as good at telling parents how to parent before parenting myself…I was as good being that parent.  Or so I thought.  Then someone talked to me.

“Relax” she said.  “You cannot teach him everything he must know.  Children learn at different speeds, in different styles.  The most important thing you can do is love your child….and give him TIME. Teach him about Jesus and pray with him.”   I heeded her advice.  And I relaxed.

Moms….relax.  Enjoy your child.  Work his vocabulary when you take him to the grocery store and pick up can goods.  Talk to him when you take a walk, pointing out all the beauty of nature.  Read to him (this is one of the most important thing you can do in my humble opinion), sing to him (even if off key), play with him.  And the most important?  Teach him about Jesus.  Start early and never stop.  Learning is “caught, not taught”. In some cases that can be good…some bad.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,  so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”  2 Timothy 3:16-17

 Once I went back into teaching after my boys were mostly grown, I realized many things.  First of all, I quit sitting across from parents pretending like I knew it all.  Even though there were some things I was concerned about, I never was condescending.  I knew that parent loved the child more than I ever could understand.

Second of all, some moms just needed suggestions on how to “teach” their children.  Many times they began to realize that it wasn’t the “teacher’s responsibility” to do all the teaching.  All in all, my motherhood made me a better teacher.

So moms…always teach.  You are the first.

Blessings~

IN CHRIST ALONE

Isaiah 55:8-9

*NIV Bible, google clipart image

Going Out on a Limb…Creak!!

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Going Out on a Limb today….

I love this picture.  I have a very long story about a “yellow bird”.  Suffice it to say, God has given me a personal rainbow many, many times in my life…and “yellow fellow” is it. I actually think it is funny that I found it as something “out on a limb”.  Could it be that what I am going to say is important to someone?  We shall see…

From my previous posts I would hope you understand what motherhood means to me.  I truly believe that it is the most important job I have had or will ever have.  Hands down.  I believe I poured my life into my kids, and that I was a pretty good mother while they were in this house.  In fact, I believe that I am still a good mom.

Here comes the limb part…..I might fall off.  The limb might break…you might disagree. Even seeing it in print causes me to gulp a bit. Here is comes….

Your Kids Should Not Be Your Life!  I confess that mine were.  In fact, I have had to check myself over and over to make sure that they are not my life even now.  

As a public school teacher the last ten years, I have seen some parents that are so absorbed in themselves that their little guys are simply a burden.  I am not talking to those parents.

I am talking to moms who take the time to read blogs about parenting. I am talking to teacher moms, who have a huge job not only taking care of their biological children, but their school children as well.  I am talking to homeschool moms, who have the tendency to be swallowed up by the life of homeschooling.  I was one of those moms!  My husband worked late hours many nights, so it was just me and the two boys for years.  We did everything together!  Not only was it my responsibility to clothe them, feed them, provide shelter, provide guidance, take them to all their practices… but we had chosen to be responsible for their education!!  What were we thinking?

Being a “type A” personality, I took it all very seriously.  I loved being with my boys.  We had fun.  I was overwhelmed many days with the fact that I was raising “men”.  But quite frankly, they came first in everything.  Maybe it was because my parents were divorced when I was young, and I overcompensated.  But they came before my well being, my marriage, and yes, gulp, even my personal relationship with God.

I am not proud of it.  I think the fact hit me hard once the boys were both out of the house.  I didn’t feel needed anymore.  I missed them so much it hurt physically.  Moms would tell me this when my sons were younger :  “A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter a daughter for the rest of her life.” And I didn’t believe it.  It is true to a degree…and if we have raised our sons correctly, it should be.

Mark 10:6-8 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Your kids cannot come before your physical and mental well being, your marriage or your personal relationship with the Father.  Trust me when I say, if you take care of these things…you will be a better Mom, one that God created you to be.

My husband and I both agreed on what we did.  We have learned to date again, and gotten use to it just being “us”.  We are a family now.  

Practical advice from the limb crawler:

1.  Take the dog out for a walk, daily.  Or walk down the street in any weather for at least 15 minutes.  Do it alone if possible.

2.  Get up 10 minutes earlier, or stay up 10 minutes later.  Spend time with the Lord. Not just the time you are teaching your children the Word, but read your Bible alone, or a devotion.  Write in a journal, pray.  You don’t have to do ALL of them at once.  But just spending time with you and your Father will start or end your day in the right way. And don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day or two!!

3. Get away with your beloved hubby.  Even if it is just a walk down the street with you.  Talk (try to make it about something else but the kids), listen.  Sit on the back porch together…alone.  And for goodness sake, try to have a date night or date morning once a month.

4.  As your kids get older and don’t “need” you as much, cultivate your hobby.  Take a class.  Do something that does not involve the kids.  I always said that when kids get their drivers license it is practice for when they won’t be living with you anymore.

5. Love God.  Keep HIM first.  Your life should be poured into Him. You may not be able to spend hours upon hours with Him when the kids are little, but trust me…you will get more time as they grow.

Mark 12:30-31 “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength’. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

It is a fine line, I will admit.  But one that deserves your attention.  We live in a day and time that keeps us more than busy.  And I believe that the enemy finds joy in that. Something might have to stop, that extra piano lesson, a clean countertop before bed.  I found out that the kids were always fine when we left them with someone. We did make some attempts to have dates.  And I am SO glad now.

The boys have their own lives.  I don’t ever want to be that mother that meddles, or the “mother in law” that does!   But it took some getting use to.  Learn from my experiences. Be creative.  Don’t make your children your life….

Creak…did it break? Hope not!!

Blessings dear ones~

IN CHRIST ALONE

Isaiah 55:8-9

 

I would NEVER…Just Ask Me!

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I would NEVER ……just ask me!

Yep, I thought I knew it all.  Had all the answers.

You’ve probably heard people say that phrase…  I was one of those women who would say things like…”If I were that kid’s mom, I would never let him throw a fit like that in front of people in a grocery store.”  Then I had a two year old.  And we went to a grocery store.

Or “No teenager of mine would be living in my house if he did___________!”  Then I had two teenagers that continued to live in my house.

How easy is it to say what we would do in situations in which we have no idea what we would really do!  It always made me feel better about myself when I could point out the failures in “parenting” as I came upon these situations.  

I asked the Lord forgiveness for that attitude.  And thankfully I was forgiven.

I think that the older you get, the less you realize that you know.  Oh sure, experience, trials and troubles have brought a bit of wisdom, but I don’t pretend like I know it all anymore.  That is not a characteristic of confidence.  The only thing I am confident is Christ in me.

Galatians 2:20-21: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. 21 I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain.”

We have the opportunity to help others that have gone through parenting situations that we might have gone through.  And when parents are dealing with something that we ourselves have not dealt with, we have the opportunity to be supportive…not pass judgement.  We need to encourage one another.  Let the Christ in us encourage.

As for me, when I look at all the careers and jobs I have had over the years, being a parent was the toughest.  It was one of the most important things I ever did to be sure…but it was also the hardest.  The responsibility became overwhelming sometimes if I really thought about it.  So I had to learn to give it to the Father.  I had to truly trust Him with my children’s lives.

I told someone last night that God loves our children more than we can even imagine.

Luke 11:11-13 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Isaiah 49:15-16 : “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget you!   See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-6: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

We have to come to the point in our lives as parents when we realize that we simply do not have all the answers.  We do the best we can.  And we trust the One who created our children.  We were loaned a gift, one that He created.  Our job is to teach them in the ways of the Lord and love them unconditionally.  

Truly love them unconditionally, and realize as parents that we really don’t know it all.

Whether they throw a fit in the grocery store, or do something in which they should not be allowed to live in your house.  

Blessings dear ones~

IN CHRIST ALONE

Isaiah 55:8-9

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