As Father’s Day approaches each and every year my heart experiences a range of emotions. You would think by now I would be over it. But the absence of a daddy is something that I am not sure you ever get over.
Even at 54.
My dad was my age when he died of a sudden heart attack. That is a sobering thought really.
The age that I am…..NOW.
But my dad was missing from my life many years before he passed away. I have had some emotional scars that have healed; yet the memories don’t ever completely go away.
Dad and Mom divorced when I was in junior high. And as I have said in other blog posts, our relationship was not a good one. Unfortunately, he made some poor decisions when it came to taking care of us. After the divorce he chose not to do so…not financially, physically, emotionally or spiritually. I will never really know the reason
When a teenage girl does not think that her father loves her…it packs a powerful emotional punch. And that punch affects her ability to understand how any man could l love her and how a heavenly Father could love her at all.
That was my story. For years. I was a “hard core, get in your face, stand up for myself because no one else will” kind of gal.
Then I got married to the most wonderful man who didn’t mind that I was pretty stubborn. He understood my defense mechanism. Then six years later I became pregnant and began to understand the unconditional love of our heavenly Father.
I forgave my Dad. He had parented the best he could. According to my father and others I talked to after his death, he did not have a very supportive father as he grew up
Did he ask for forgiveness? No.
But I had to forgive him for my sake. My “hate” for my earthly father was affecting all my relationships, in particular…my relationship with my Heavenly Father. He died shortly after I had established a “semi relationship” with him. I was so glad I had that opportunity. I could live with myself….and my heart was healing.
So dear friends…if you have had a dad who did not take the time to love you….if you have a parent who left you, or that you did not know…..forgive them.
You can not do that on your own. Only through the love of God is that possible.
…..And no…you don’t have to forge a relationship…
….and no….you will not forget your pain…
…..and no….you don’t have to put yourself out there for more hurt…..
….but I do believe with all my heart that my daddy did love me in his own way…
In forgiveness there is healing and freedom.
Don’t let that be taken from you too.
*NIV Bible, personal graphics