Seasons. Most of us experience a change in seasons about four times a year. Where I live, it seems like you can experience at least two of them in one week. Like right now. We are supposed to have some severe weather; while Monday it was cold and in the 20’s. Go figure. Seasons indeed change, just as the seasons in our lives. I have experienced such a change of late. I am no longer teaching. I taught in the 80’s for five years, then stayed home to be a mom to the two wonderful sons that God blessed us with. I also was able to homeschool them, something I would do all over again. During those years on and off I worked at a Crisis Pregnancy Center, as a radio announcer, Bible study teacher, and many other things. As with many, life offered its “ups and downs” through deaths, storms, health issues, etc. But God got us through each and every thing, each and every time. I had been praying that the Father would release me from my teaching job for several years. I knew He had given it to me (in one day I might add, when I did not know one was available), so I knew that He would release me when it was time. I knew that the season would be over one day and I would go on to other things He had for me to be involved in. Unbeknownst to me, I had been released about two years earlier, but I was waiting for a “job” to fall in my lap before I could move on. I found out if I worked 8 more years, I would pull a small retirement. I had to hang on! A dangling carrot of sort. Almost daily I wanted to stop working. The laws governing special education were tedious and required an incredible amount of paperwork. My students had more issues than ever before, and I was unable to give them all they needed. I felt as though I were being wrapped over and over by a strong rope and literally losing myself. I was getting lost, and I wasn’t hearing the voice of God. I simply was so drained that I hardly recognized it anymore. So on October 1, after much prayer and confirmation…I resigned my position. I had been through skin cancer and severe hair loss the past summer. The total body hair loss was most likely stress, as three doctors pointed out. I am not saying that the skin cancer came from stress, but I know that it was a contributing factor. I took a step out in faith. I had to believe that God would take care of us. He always had, and He wouldn’t stop now. I found some online work and starting selling some wreaths and craft items I so loved to make. I was overwhelmed with the confirmation He gave me over and over in His word. I am not going to pretend to understand all that is going on. I just know that He is faithful. I believe that I am healing. I did not know how bad I felt until now. A month has passed and I feel like my old self again. I can minister and love on people with a full supply. I am no longer empty, nor drained like I was. I am sleeping, and I am not losing nearly as much hair! And it is growing back as well!! I did master the “comb over” since my hair has always been curly and thick! So my encouragement today is this: 1.) Listen. Don’t think He is not speaking to you, He is..sometimes the noise of this world drowns Him out. 2.) Just as the temperatures, our “seasons” in life change. One day you are with your little boys on the beach, and the next thing you know you are 53 years old and writing about it on a blog. But enjoy the ride…He is always working and loving us. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts”. Isaiah 55:8
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Be Still and know….I “Got It”
Do you remember when one of your kids came to you crying with a splinter and you were trying to get it out of a finger? “Be still” were the two words out of your mouth. Their purpose? To make that little guy sit still so you could keep from digging that flame sterilized needle into your baby’s already pounding finger!
My little guys always were in the “know”. They knew that their momma would get that splinter out. If they were very still, that splinter came out quicker and with less pain. They trusted me, they knew me..I was their momma.
“Be still”…this brings quiet, calm, serenity to a very stressful time. We quit moving. We stop. We don’t talk, we just listen. In Hebrew grammar this means we surrender. We surrender in order to know that God is in control as Ribbono Shel Olam, the Master of the Universe. We let go because we believe in the saving power of the Father in our lives. We surrender, knowing that “God’s got this”.
Webster says “Know” means “to perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly and with certainty; To have established or fixed in the mind or memory: to know a poem by heart; to be cognizant or aware of. The Hebrew, “yada” has several meanings, but in this passage it means “to have an intimate kind of knowledge.”
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 God was assuring Israel, just as He reassures us.
No matter your trials, the winds that blow your way…Jesus spoke “Hush, be still” in Mark (4:39) May our hearts be still and know intimately, by trust that He’s “got it.”
If I could take care of my son’s splintered finger, how much more can the Father take care of us?
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Take NOTHING for granted!
It’s been an interesting couple of months. In July I learned I had to have a basal cell carcinoma cut out of my shoulder. I know, the best type of skin cancer to have, it doesn’t even have its own ribbon…but the “C” word was now a part of my vocabulary. I had a big ‘ole hunk of skin removed with 17 stitches. I could not life my arm above my head for 4 weeks because of the crazy location, and my husband had to dress the wound two times a day, for two whole weeks. And he did so, with dedication and over zealousness. I seriously think he missed his calling!
Word of warning: if it is an invasive removal, don’t ask to look at the specimen, unless you are prepared to immediately be flipped upside down to avoid a total fainting spell. All was well, then all of the sudden I was sweating a little more than my deodorant was prepared for and watching my husband move his lips with never a sound being heard by this woman!
After a week of waiting, the nurse called with the words I can’t believe I was hearing: “Tammy, just wanted you to know that you are cancer free”. There was that word again!! Well we survived putting together my classroom and my private nurse’s orders.
I had noticed some peculiar pieces of hair laying around a number of places. And the drain after showering? What’s two fistfuls of hair when you have as much as me? Just scoop it up and throw it away!! As any normal mother would do after much practice over the years, I ignored these happenings. One day I glanced in the mirror and noticed some eyelashes missing. Must have rubbed too hard while taking off my mascara I reasoned. Then it happened..time for cut and color.
Did I ever get in trouble!! My hairdresser of 10 years was upset. As she twirled me around in the chair she told me I had obviously been ignoring something…and it wasn’t from stress. “Good thing you started out with lots of thick, curly hair…because if you hadn’t, you would be looking for a wig right now! Call a doctor as soon as you can!” I could ignore it no longer. Of course, making another hair appointment in five weeks seemed like an oxymoron of sorts…I told her I would call if I needed to cancel because I had none to cut or color. She didn’t think I was being very funny.
So what do all women do when they find out they’re losing their hair? I cried like a baby. All the way home while I talked to a couple of friends. “I will help you pick out extensions!” One encouraged me with….yeah, I felt better already.
Once I processed my situation I thought of some things the Father had shown me the previous week. One day it concerned clothes. I love them. I love mixing, matching, picking, combining and being in attractive clothes. And the Father spoke to my heart..”you are clothed in my righteousness daughter and that is the clothing you need to be beautiful.” The next day I thought about my new makeup. I have extremely sensitive skin and I just had some organic makeup mixed for me and it working. Then I heard…”Just as I am…Tamara, you are loved just as you are..no makeup required!” But baldness??!! Come on Father!!! I get it!!
Today I went to the doctor and had three vials of blood withdrawn. And I sat very still for a few minutes to make sure I could still hear before I got up this time!! I still don’t know what is going on, nor does the doctor..but she promised she would find out. So, after my shower, I removed another fistful, cried, hugged my husband and realized that this hair of mine truly was not my “crown of glory”. He wore that..for me. And yes, no matter if I am barefaced, clothed in rags and bald..I am still loved, and a daughter of the King!
i must add that I have lost a few relatives and dear friends to cancer…with the radiation, chemotherapy and loss of hair..I will never understand that pain and loss completely…and I by no means minimize these very painful times for them or their families. I have been given a very tiny, little bitty glimpse of what they endured..and I love them all the more for the grace they showed through their trial.
Be encouraged daughter of the King, you are loved!!
In Christ Alone,
Tammy
Encouragement for Today 